Do Something Good – Pickles


Ever noticed how when you decide to “prioritize” something, you feel like you suddenly get a lot busier?

No? Just me?

I want so much to find the magical balancing act of a me that makes wholesome things, reads good books, moves and exercises for fun, sleeps the right amount of hours, keeps a perfectly exact budget, writes a brilliant blog, has a blossoming spiritual life, all while making sure my husband and baby know they are the joy of my life…and YET, mysteriously enough, the magical balancing act eludes me. You know that feeling?

No? Just me?

However, thanks to gentle mentors, patient friends, and the most gracious and supportive husband, I (most of the time) do have fun trying. And I do get amazed about what can happen when I muster the self-control to put my phone down and “do something good.” That’s been my goal lately: just do something good. 

It gets entertaining. You can ask my mom and sisters, who get subjected to all kinds of strange Show & Tell sessions while we FaceTime. The other day I was showing them pickles. 

Aha, yes. The pickles.

You maybe remember the pickling cucumbers from the Farmers Market:

Well, I said you’d be hearing more about them, aaaaand here we are. This is where you hear more about them. 

My baby loves pickles. But, when I started getting all crunchy I read a pickle jar label and got snotty about pickles. Weird stuff in them pickle jars. I mainly wanted to find one without food coloring because, I dunno, why is there even food coloring in pickles? So I decided to make my own. Perusing Pinterest and selecting a recipe to lacto-ferment pickles , then finding whey from grass-fed cows, then finding organic cucumbers, and blah blah blah became a month-long saga which would take a long time to type and also a long time to read and also would make me sound like a freak who has nothing to do but obsess over ideal pickles. The first two of which are true and the third one of which is…debatable.


I arrived home with my adorable little pickling cucumbers on Saturday and realized I needed pickling spices. On Monday I went to Sprouts because I will take any excuse to go to Sprouts I thought it might be cheaper there. Obviously.

I went to the little bulk spice section and picked up the pickling spice jar. I gave a perfunctory glance at the ingredient list and froze. Soybean oil. And I got snotty about pickling spices because, I dunno, why is there even soybean oil in pickling spices? 

So I decided to make my own. 

I gleefully pulled jars down one by one and bagged spices, so many little bags of spices, using the pickling spice jar label as a guide, skipping the soybean oil, because I’m a snob. I got home and made my pickling spice and even took a picture, just for you guys:

I rinsed the cutie little pickling cucumbers.

I stuffed ’em in a jar I saved for the occasion, well bedecked with garlic, dill, (so very much dill) and a generous amount of hoity toity home-mixed pickling spices.

I imagine you are just dying to know how delectable they are. I can’t tell you. They’re not done fermenting until tomorrow. You may wonder why I just didn’t want to wait until tomorrow to give you the pickle saga with a conclusive conclusion about the actual edible ness of the pickles. Because I meant to write about all this on Wednesday, that’s why, and my mom life happened and now it’s Friday and this is the post I was going to write so here it is, and you can hear about the pickles and their deliciousness later.  

I can tell you, though , that they sure look different. Taste aside, they look like regular old pickles now, not like fresh little cutie pickling cucumbers. I would take a picture and show you but mom life and stuff  and I need to go finish dinner. It’s almost time to take my first-ever turkey out of the oven. Speaking of the turkey I have to tell you it’s a good thing I made my own pickling spice like a snob because otherwise I would not have had whole allspice berries here and apparently I needed those to brine my turkey and who has whole allspice berries in their cabinet? Not me, that’s who. Except I just made pickling spice, so…I had it. Like a real housewife would. I guess that’s like a real housewife, anyway, because otherwise why would it be in the recipe if people don’t just have that kind of thing lying around? 

Of course, there was also juniper berries in the recipe and I definitely don’t have those lying around so I just skipped that part. We’ll see what that means for the turkey. 
Fake it til ya make it.


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